The Woeful Removal of the Butterscotch Dip Cone
[I went into a Dairy Queen one day and ordered a butterscotch dip cone. To my shock (and horror!) the kid behind the counter told me that they had been discontinued. I wrote the following letter to DQ national very quickly. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to come across some stores that still offer my coveted butterscotch dip cone. Yes, the “Ode to a Butterscotch Dip Cone” was included.]
The Letter, As Written and Sent
To Whom It May Concern:
I was in a DQ yesterday, and upon ordering a butterscotch dip cone, my favorite and best reason to go to DQ, I was told that they had been discontinued. Could you please bring it back? I liked the butterscotch best of all your cones, blizzards, and parfaits.
I remember that, as a kid, we used to go to DQ after winning (or losing) baseball games. I always got the butterscotch dip cone because I thought it was the best tasting treat DQ sold.
I suppose I should get over my childhood sweet tooth, but I really don’t want to. It’s a lot more fun to me to go to a DQ and order something out of my childhood and remember what it felt like to win a game and be there with friends.
I suppose I’ll just have to stock up on those butterscotch Dilly Bars I saw last night. They’ll have to last me until you bring back my favorite cone. However long that is.
Thanks for listening.
Michael J Dangler
69 W. Weber Rd.
Columbus, OH 43202
“Ode to a Butterscotch Dip Cone:”
Ah, my ‘Scotch Dip Cone!
Perfectly formed,
Scrumptious and pure,
Ne’er ever warmed!
Alas, you have gone!
I shall miss your taste,
Your quiet cold orange,
Brain-frozen in haste!
I shall miss thee much!
Alone do I suffer,
Reliving the mem’ries
Where pain is no buffer!
Will they bring thee back?
Alone I pray day and night,
That big-wigs will see my plight
And stop their terrible blight!
