Discordian Meal blessing:
Eris Good and Strong and Bright,
Make this food safe tonight.
Anthrax, chicken pox and hugs,
Please keep at bay such thugs.
Kitty claws and dragon teeth
Do not contaminate my beef.*
My veggies and salads green
Are not replaced with dolphin spleen.
Eris, O Mother Discordia and Poof
Take this as prayer, not spoof.
Through your guidance and strife
May we see our lessons in life!
*Vegetarians may change this to:
Kitty claws and dragon sneeze
Do not contaminate my cheese.
Written back in 2003, this was my somewhat tongue-in-cheek attempt at a simple Discordian meal blessing; being new to Discordianism and enamoured with the idea of silly things, this sort of made my day to write and (occasionally) perform. The rhyme was uncommon for me at the time, but it has certainly always been my favorite part of this particular prayer.
There are always more prayers like this bubbling up within me.
Also, in many years since I wrote this, I am pretty sure the meter is a bit lacking, but hey, it’s also a Discoridan prayer, so it sort of fits right in.
