I Want to be a Ninja

I’m nearly falling asleep as I write this. I meditated on a topic today, not something I usually do. Today’s topic? What would it be like to be a ninja!

1. All my clothes would finally match.

2. I wouldn’t need to worry about money. Ninja do not need day jobs.

3. I could sleep with a sword and no one would think it was weird.

4. I would be impervious to bullets. Or I could at least dodge them.

5. The law would be unable to touch me.

6. My battle-cry would rock.

7. My chosen profession would finally warrant an action figure (with kung-fu grip!)

8. I could walk into a room and see 10 ways to kill you before you could beg for your life.

9. I would finally have the excuse I’ve always needed to purchase a grappling hook.

10. It would no longer matter whether I was invited to parties or not: I could sneak in, jump into the middle of the room, and commit sepuku on the spot, thus insuring that the host would never again forget to invite me.

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