{"id":1299,"date":"2023-02-14T01:59:49","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T01:59:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/67.225.164.17\/~chronarchy\/?p=1299"},"modified":"2023-02-14T01:59:49","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T01:59:49","slug":"cant-be-myself-by-watershed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/67.225.164.17\/~chronarchy\/cant-be-myself-by-watershed\/","title":{"rendered":"Can’t Be Myself by Watershed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Can’t Be Myself
\n<\/i><\/b>by Watershed<\/p>\n

Slam the door and grab the phone
\nLike a pistol against my head.
\nAsk your machine where are you
\nDamn it never knows.
\nDid I just leave a message or a suicide note?
\nTry to suck the words back down my throat
\nAnd I don’t know how long I can hold out
\nHold on, hold on<\/p>\n

When I see ya girl I wanna change,
\nMy clothes, my eyes, my hair, my face,
\nGotta get away, so I can be myself
\nMyself<\/p>\n

Now you’re staring in the mirror
\nTrying to see what I see.
\nTill you don’t even recognize yourself
\nDarting empty bottles and broken glass
\nAll tangled up in you, you
\nBut everyone’s got someone they can’t have
\nI got you<\/p>\n

When I see ya girl I wanna change
\nMy clothes, my eyes, my hair, my face
\nI’ll be anything, but I can’t be myself, myself<\/p>\n

I don’t know how long I can hold out
\nI don’t know how long I can hold out<\/p>\n

Tonight this phone feels like a pistol,
\nblack and cold against my temple
\nDid I leave a message or a suicide note
\n(I don’t know how long I can hold out)
\nSuck the words back down my throat
\n(I don’t know how long I can hold out)
\nGotta suck the words back down my throat<\/p>\n

When I see ya girl I wanna change,
\nMy clothes, my eyes, my hair, my face
\nAnd every word that gets away is going off like a cherry bomb<\/p>\n

Like a shmuck outta luck
\nFull of sand in the clover
\nI’m bendin I’m breakin
\nI’m shaking all over
\nI’ll be anything, but I cant be myself, myself, myself<\/p>\n

Got me slipping and sliding and tossing and turning
\nAnd coming and creaming
\nAnd crashing and burning
\nI’ll be anything, but I can’t be myself, myself
\nMyself<\/p>\n

\n

The above song has lots of meaning. Once again, we’re back to thinking about a particular girl. Or actually, let’s rephrase that: we’re back to thinking about a couple of girls, one of whom is primary.<\/p>\n

The idea is that I would meet a girl, and I’ll do whatever I can to impress her. My feelings about most of this song are very similar to “Love in the Library<\/a>” by Jimmy Buffett. It’s a harmless kind of love that really means nothing, but it is powerful and keeps you awake nonetheless, and drives you crazy, thinking about her and the way things could be.<\/p>\n

The key line that differentiates this song from “Love in the Library” is this:<\/p>\n

But everyone’s got someone they can’t have
\nI got you<\/i><\/p>\n

I don’t know why this particular line gets to me, but I have some theories. This line has to do (to me) with a hang-up on a particular person. Someone where you can’t get them out of your head, and there’s something that prevents you from acting on the feelings you have.<\/p>\n

In short, I suppose that there’s someone I can’t have, that I really want. And, in the context of the song, I’m too freakin’ chicken to say anything, because she won’t like the reasons, and there’s probably some fear that a) she won’t return such feelings and b) the whole situation might blow up and I might do something I really don’t want to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can’t Be Myself by Watershed Slam the door and grab the phone Like a pistol against my head. Ask your machine where are you Damn it never knows. Did I just leave a message or a suicide note? Try to suck the words back down my throat And I don’t know how long I can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-essays","category-songs"],"yoast_head":"\nCan't Be Myself by Watershed - Chronarchy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/67.225.164.17\/~chronarchy\/cant-be-myself-by-watershed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can't Be Myself by Watershed - Chronarchy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Can’t Be Myself by Watershed Slam the door and grab the phone Like a pistol against my head. 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