I Know Kung-Fu, a dream:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n
Last night, for my second dream, I was Bruce Campbell, as Elvis, as a detective. I’m carrying a long-barreled revolver that I don’t know how to use, and I’m chasing a bunch of bad guys who know kung-fu. I know they aren’t ninjas, because they don’t dress like ninjas.<\/p>\n
Well, I have this hottie that I’m working with (of course!), and she knows her way around the detective trade better than I do (of course!).<\/p>\n
So, anyway, there’s a hazy memory of trap doors and the kung-fu bad guys are using them to hide. Well, we find out that they’re using a warehouse converted to a dance club (will the cheezy stereotypes never end?), and we find the trap door, and decide to wait until the morning, when all the dancers are gone.<\/p>\n
I fall asleep on a chair, dropping my revolver on the ground. The hottie is off getting backup (kung-fu good guys, of course), and I wake up to the sound of rain. It’s just starting to rain, and the walls of the dance club are open, so it’s really more like a shelter than a warehouse. The roof is made of tin (you know, the rippled stuff that makes lots of noise when it rains), and I step out just outside of the roof, where I can feel rain falling on me.<\/p>\n
It seems that the roof was covered in acid, though, so while I’m standing just over the edge, the rain makes the acid fall, and I get a huge drop right on my shoulder. It’s yellow, and it starts to eat through my jean jacket. So I pull it off, but not before it burns a hole through the jacket and my shoulder gets a bit burned. So I step a good ways away from the building, just as the hottie comes back with the good guy kung-fu fighters.<\/p>\n
Well, I hang out a moment to let the rainwater dissipate the acid, and then head back in. I grab a bat because I can’t find my gun, and all the kung-fu good guys have swords. The hottie asks where my gun is, and I tell her that I like the kung-fu guys’ style, so I’m going to go in with a “sword” too. She rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n
I get down the trap door first, and I sneak around a bit. I eventually get to where I can see the kung-fu bad guys, and they’re interrogating the guy we want to save (of course!). For some reason, this tiny underground room is lit by a fire, and so everyone is illuminated by flickering lights.<\/p>\n
One of the bad kung-fu guys says something wrong, and the leader guts him (of course!). My baseball bat has turned into an axe now, and so I go in swinging. One of the bad guy kung-fu fighters has my gun, but he doesn’t know how to use it, so I get it back.<\/p>\n
Amazingly, though, I never shoot anyone.<\/p>\n
I run by another good guy kung-fu fighter and we give each other a pre-determined sign to show we’re on the same side. We hit ourselves in the chest with our fists.<\/p>\n
What follows, I assume, is massive ass-kicking of bad kung-fu guys, but I can’t say for sure. After all, I woke up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I Know Kung-Fu, a dream: Last night, for my second dream, I was Bruce Campbell, as Elvis, as a detective. I’m carrying a long-barreled revolver that I don’t know how to use, and I’m chasing a bunch of bad guys who know kung-fu. I know they aren’t ninjas, because they don’t dress like ninjas. Well, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-essays","category-short-musings"],"yoast_head":"\n