New words by Michael J Dangler<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<\/center>We went down to the Grove in June, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe sang and hummed a mournful tune, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThere are no fun chants that we sing,
\nWe all are dying from ennui,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
We walked into the grove clockwise, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe slowed down as our dirge arised, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe stopped before we fell asleep,
\nthe chant so dry it dragged our feet,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The Senior Druid he called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe heard him call to earth and bowed, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe talked some more about the dirt
\nThe ending phrase it was curt,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The Bard called out for inspiration, hurrah, hurrah!
\nIt seemed that train had left the station, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe talks about it from a script,
\nWe wish he’d memorize his shtick,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
We closed our eyes and looked inside, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOur hands were clasped our faces high, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe sought our center high and low
\nthe SD led us blow by blow
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The Seer’s voice rang in the Well, hurrah, hurrah!
\nshe held aloft a silver bell, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHer voice it warbled through the air
\nAnd I was pulling out my hair
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The Fire blazed before the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nhe read his words from an index card, hurrah, hurrah!
\nInspiration hadn’t struck,
\nI hoped to be hit by a truck,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The Tree it got the dumbest things, hurrah, hurrah!
\nA bit o’ incense and water spring, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThey threw it on the tree for show,
\nAnd didn’t care where it did go,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Then someone began to speak, hurrah, hurrah!
\n’bout why we’re here but it was weak, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe knew all about the holiday,
\nbut she told us again anyway,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Next we told the nasties, “Go,” hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe called them names and told them so, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe probably shouldn’t have called them that
\nCuz they’re commin’ back with a baseball bat
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
The senior druid steped forward proud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe raised his hands and called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe gatekeeper came to the grove,
\nWe were all relieved that he showed,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Our fearless leader stood stock still, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe raised his hand and let it mill, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe rolled our eyes to watch the Gates
\nOpen and flood all over the place,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
I plugged my ears as the Seer sounded, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe Ancestors called were most confounded, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe know they came from down to up
\nHoping to shut our Seer up
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Crump’ling paper announced the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nis memorization really that hard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nShe called out to the Noble Ones
\nAnd I thought that we were undone,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Now again the leader came up, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe olive oil in a dixie cup, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe called out to the Shining Gods
\nand fire nearly burned his bod,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Recovering from his brush with fright, hurrah, hurrah!
\nDruid began the last summons that night, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe called out to the patron God
\nOf grapes and dance who’s somewhat odd,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
What happened next I daren’t repeat, hurrah, hurrah!
\nLet’s just say we lost our feet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe didn’t know what we had done
\nbut I seem to remember lots of fun,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Praises were sung when we all came to, hurrah, hurrah!
\nSuddenly we were two by two, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe praises continued for quite some time
\nI think someone sacrificed a mime
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
O! my knees are scuffed from kneeling here, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWhat caused my off’rings to all be beer, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHead is bowed in confused quiet,
\nBack is aching from bacchic riot,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Our leader brought out a bowl with spout, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe chanted a dirge then poured it out, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOur final offering to the Powers
\nWas this sweet water and some flowers
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
Our Seer sat upon the ground, hurrah, hurrah!
\nAnd drew three runes with nary a sound, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOmens looked bad but they sounded good
\nI quietly snickered in my hood,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
A bowl was brought out with water sweet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nand everybody shuffled their feet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe all got doused with holy spray,
\nAnd received our blessings on that day,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
As children yawned and adults sighed, hurrah, hurrah!
\nIt was time to end and go inside, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe Powers were thanked in backwards order
\nThe Gates were closed in hasty torture,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
We sang a dirge as we walked out, hurrah, hurrah!
\nAnd sweaty people hug and shout, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe reason we’re here of course is the food
\nWhy else would we sit through a ritual so rude,
\nAnd we all just rolled our eyes
\nto the skies
\nand hoped the rite would end.<\/p>\n
\nSee a dirty version<\/a>, too!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Ritualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant (Sung to the tune of “The Ants Go Marching”) New words by Michael J Dangler We went down to the Grove in June, hurrah, hurrah! We sang and hummed a mournful tune, hurrah, hurrah! There are no fun chants that we sing, We all are dying from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-essays","category-general"],"yoast_head":"\n
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