New words by Michael J Dangler<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<\/center>Where did this come from? It all started with a comment to me about using the words “penis” and “thong” in a submission to Oak Leaves. My rendition got such laughter that I had to finish it out. Here’s the first verse I came up with, and the actual song is below:<\/p>\n
We all were shocked to see the thong, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe penis was just so very wrong, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe didn’t know just what to do,
\nso we sealed Ian’s pants with superglue,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
\nRitualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n
We went down to the Grove in June, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe sang and hummed a mournful tune, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThere are no fun chants that we sing,
\nWe all are dying from ennui,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
We walked into the grove clockwise, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe slowed down as our dirge arised, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe stopped before we fell asleep,
\nthe chant so dry it dragged our feet,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The Senior Druid he called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe heard him call to earth and bowed, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe talked some more about the dirt
\nThe ending phrase it was curt,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The Bard called out for inspiration, hurrah, hurrah!
\nIt seemed that train had left the station, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe talks about it from a script,
\nWe wish he’d memorize his schtick,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
We closed our eyes and looked inside, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOur hands were clasped our faces high, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe sought our center high and low
\nthe SD led us blow by blow
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The Seer’s voice rang in the Well, hurrah, hurrah!
\nshe held aloft a silver bell, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHer voice it warbled through the air
\nAnd I was pulling out my hair
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The Fire blazed before the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nhe read his words from an index card, hurrah, hurrah!
\nInspiration hadn’t struck,
\nI hoped to be hit by a truck,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The Tree it got the dumbest things, hurrah, hurrah!
\nA bit o’ incense and water spring, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThey threw it on the tree for show,
\nAnd didn’t care where it did go,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Then someone began to speak, hurrah, hurrah!
\n’bout why we’re here but it was weak, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe knew all about the holiday,
\nbut she told us again anyway,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Next we told the nasties, “Go,” hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe called them names and told them so, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe probably shouldn’t have called them that
\nCuz they’re commin’ back with a baseball bat
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
The senior druid stepped forward proud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe raised his hands and called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe gatekeeper came to the grove,
\nWe were all relieved that he showed,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Our fearless leader stood stock still, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe raised his hand and let it mill, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe rolled our eyes to watch the Gates
\nOpen and flood all over the place,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
I plugged my ears as the Seer sounded, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe Ancestors called were most confounded, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe know they came from down to up
\nHoping to shut our Seer up
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Crump’ling paper announced the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nis memorization really that hard, hurrah, hurrah!
\nShe called out to the Noble Ones
\nAnd I thought that we were undone,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Now again the leader came up, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe olive oil in a dixie cup, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe called out to the Shining Gods
\nand fire nearly burned his bod,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Recovering from his brush with fright, hurrah, hurrah!
\nDruid began the last summons that night, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHe called out to the patron God
\nOf grapes and dance who’s somewhat odd,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
What happened next I daren’t repeat, hurrah, hurrah!
\nLet’s just say we lost our feet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe didn’t know what we had done
\nbut I seem to remember lots of fun,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Praises were sung when we all came to, hurrah, hurrah!
\nSuddenly we were two by two, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe praises continued for quite some time
\nI think someone sacrificed a mime
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
O! my knees are scuffed from kneeling here, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWhat caused my off’rings to all be beer, hurrah, hurrah!
\nHead is bowed in confused quiet,
\nBack is aching from bacchic riot,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Our leader brought out a bowl with spout, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe chanted a dirge then poured it out, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOur final offering to the Powers
\nWas this sweet water and some flowers
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
Our Seer sat upon the ground, hurrah, hurrah!
\nAnd drew three runes with nary a sound, hurrah, hurrah!
\nOmens looked bad but they sounded good
\nI quietly snickered in my hood,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
A bowl was brought out with water sweet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nand everybody shuffled their feet, hurrah, hurrah!
\nWe all got doused with holy spray,
\nAnd received our blessings on that day,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
As children yawned and adults sighed, hurrah, hurrah!
\nIt was time to end and go inside, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe Powers were thanked in backwards order
\nThe Gates were closed in hasty torture,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n
We sang a dirge as we walked out, hurrah, hurrah!
\nAnd sweaty people hug and shout, hurrah, hurrah!
\nThe reason we’re here of course is the food
\nWhy else would we sit through a ritual so rude,
\nAnd we all went bending down,
\nto the ground
\nto kiss our goddess’ ass. . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ritualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant (A slightly dirtier version) (Sung to the tune of “The Ants Go Marching”) New words by Michael J Dangler Where did this come from? It all started with a comment to me about using the words “penis” and “thong” in a submission to Oak Leaves. My rendition […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1837","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-essays","category-general"],"yoast_head":"\n
Ritualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant (A slightly dirtier version) - Chronarchy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/67.225.164.17\/~chronarchy\/ritualizing-to-the-beat-of-a-different-ant-a-slightly-dirtier-version\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ritualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant (A slightly dirtier version) - Chronarchy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ritualizing to the Beat of a Different Ant (A slightly dirtier version) (Sung to the tune of “The Ants Go Marching”) New words by Michael J Dangler Where did this come from? It all started with a comment to me about using the words “penis” and “thong” in a submission to Oak Leaves. 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